Vintage Lowcarbezine! - Valentine's Day

I wrote this article in 2000, the first year we were publishing, but it needed very little revision seven years later:

Don't look now! Just when you've really shaken that Holiday Five, here comes Valentine's Day! Surely you've noticed the heart-shaped satin boxes piled up at every grocery store, discount store, convenience store, and even truck stop. Yes, it's another all-American Junk Fest!

Okay, so it's not as bad as "The Holiday Season", where you're facing carbohydrate land mines for more than a month. Still, you're likely to encounter at least one open box of chocolates or plate of cookies with fluorescent pink icing sometime this week. It's time to give a little thought to strategy.

First of all, decide now whether Valentine's Day is worth having an official Indulgence for. For those of you who haven't read my book, "Indulgence" refers to a planned, celebratory deviation from your low carb diet. I much prefer this term to "cheat", which A) signals you that you should feel guilty, which is silly, and B) suggests that you're going to get away with something. You never, ever do. Your body knows, and will react accordingly! Me, I always expect to put on 4-5 pounds when I have an Indulgence, and to take the best part of a week getting it off again. Which is why I have Indulgences very, very rarely -- I had 6 Indulgences in all of 1999, just one every other month. (For the record, that was my fewest Indulgences in a year since I went low carb -- I had 8 in 1998. I disremember how many in 1997. The point being, I care less and less about these things as time goes by, which is wonderful.)

Before you make that decision, though, consider some ways you can celebrate Valentine's Day without eating candy! Your Valentine could give you:

* Flowers!! These are maybe even more traditional for Valentine's Day than chocolates. Or consider a flowering plant that will last longer - a pot of hyacinths would be lovely, or a blooming azalea.

* Jewelry!! Don't you think that you're worth it?

* Perfume or cologne -- something that makes you feel beautiful or studly, depending on which gender you are.

* A great dinner out. How about lobster dipped in lemon butter? Or a 16 ounce sirloin?

* Slinky lingerie! Think you haven't lost enough weight yet to wear something really sexy? Think again. I was just in Lane Bryant yesterday, and they have some really wonderful stuff that will fit you. Stop thinking of yourself as fat, and think of yourself as curvy for a change! Gentlemen, how about buying your wife some slinky lingerie as a Valentine to yourself? Ladies, if your husband is low carbing too, how about a pair of silk boxers for him? Personally, I'd forego the hearts and get him something classy he'll actually wear.

* Watch a romantic video with your own true love. My personal favorite is a little-known romantic comedy that came out in the 80s called "Getting It Right", with Lynn Redgrave, Helena Bonham-Carter, and John Geilgud -- some cast! Or maybe you'd both prefer something a little steamier. Up to you!

* How about a Day of Beauty (or a half-day if money's tight) at a salon or day spa?

* Or a massage -- great for men and women alike. (As a career massage therapist, I'm very fond of this suggestion!)

* A night at a romantic getaway, whether it's a Victorian bed-and-breakfast, or one of these places like Sybaris, with hot tubs and waterfalls in the rooms.

Do one or two of these possibilities strike you as more fun than candy? If so, go for it, and don't regret the lack of chocolates!

Maybe, though, you're still shaking your head and thinking, "Nope. Valentine's Day just doesn't make it without chocolates." In that case, you're headed for an Indulgence! But remember, this is an Indulgence, not a complete revocation of all the rules of low carb dieting! Here's a few suggestions to get you through your Indulgence with the least possible damage:

* Your Indulgence lasts for one day and one day only. This means no weaseling a five pound box of chocolates out of your Significant Other and then noshing on them for a few days! Far better, buy a half-a-dozen sinfully expensive chocolates of your very favorite kind, eat them all on Valentine's Day, and have done with it. Or go out for dinner somewhere where they serve really decadent desserts, have your Indulgence, and go home to safe low carb territory.

* If you like them as well as any other kind, dark chocolate covered nuts will mess up your blood sugar less than, say, caramels or chocolate covered cherries. Why? They have less sugar, and more protein and fat, of course! Still, it's your Indulgence, so if you really have a strong preference, I'd say run with it.

* You could get sugar-free chocolates, most good chocolate shops carry them. These are generally sweetened with sugar alcohols like sorbitol or mannitol, which are carbs. They are, however, slowly and only incompletely absorbed, so they'll spike your blood sugar less, and shouldn't cause rebound hunger and cravings.

* Eat your chocolates after you've eaten a meal of protein, fats, and veggies, rather than by themselves as a snack. They'll affect your blood sugar far less -- and you'll be less likely to overeat on them.

* Don't go eating sugary stuff you don't really care about just because it's Valentine's Day and you've decided that this is an Indulgence Day for you. There are likely to be cookies or cupcakes or cheap chocolates in the break room at work -- are they the really, really good kind that's worth the four or five days you'll spend getting them back off again? Or are they cheap, cheesy grocery store cookies that don't even taste very good in the first place? Be very, very choosy about your Indulgence foods!

Related to that last tip: Whether you plan an Indulgence for Valentine's Day or not, it's a very good idea to take a low carb treat to work with you next Wednesday. You'll find resisting the break room junk far, far easier if you have something yummy just for you.

So, Indulgence Day or not, have a wonderful Valentine's Day! Here's hoping Cupid shoots you, but good!