Dealing With The Family

"But, Dana!" I hear you cry. "I'm not cooking Thanksgiving dinner! I'm going to my mother's/mother-in-law's/cousin's/sister's/brother's/grandmother's house! I'll have no control over the menu!"

If you've decided to declare Thanksgiving an Indulgence Day, this is not a big deal. Eat your high protein breakfast -- no starving till the feast! -- and then eat whatever appeals to you. On the other hand, if you'd rather not gorge on carbs, or if you're simply following my (unbelievably wise) advice to pick and choose only those carbs that you really and truly love, someone may notice. Worse, someone may comment. "But you're not eating my famous candied sweeeeet potaaaatooooes!" they'll whine. "It's a tradition! You have to have some!"

May I betray an unholiday-like spirit by admitting that I hate people like this? They are not being "nice," they are being controlling busy-bodies. Please, please accept that you owe it to no one to put anything into your body that you don't want to. These people are no different from the kids back in high school who pushed you to try drugs, or those extreme jerks who get ugly when someone doesn't want a drink -- or another drink.

The words you are looking for are "No, thanks." That's it. It's an appropriate response, and all the response required, no matter how many times they push you. Let's practice, shall we?

"Oh, but you haven't had any mashed potatoes! Here, have some."
"No, thanks."
"But it's a holiday! C'mon, you can't diet on Thanksgiving!"
"No, thanks."
"What, you're not going to eat your grandmother's mashed potatoes? You loved them as a child!"
"No, thanks."
"Geez, can't you have any fun anymore?"
"No, thanks." (Notice Dana gritting teeth to keep from saying "What, the only fun you can think of is food? I prefer sex, myself.")
"I'll just put a spoonful on your plate. There, now you'll have to eat them!"
(Scooping up potatoes and putting them back in the serving bowl) "No, thanks."

Etc.

The big thing to notice here is the lack of excuses, explanations, justifications, etc, for your not eating whatever it is these morons (sorry, I know they're your family, but they are, in this context at least, morons) are pushing. YOU DO NOT OWE THEM AN EXPLANATION. Any explanation on your part will be taken as an invitation to argue it away, just as giving a four-year-old any explanation for a rule past "Because I'm the mom and I said so" is just begging for endless argument.

It's a good idea to add a quick subject change. Like this:

"But you have to have another slice of pie!"
"No, thanks. Hey, have you seen the new Bond movie yet?"

"You have to have some of my famous sweet potato casserole!"
"No, thanks. Hey, anyone interested in doing some Black Friday shopping? Where's the best shopping around here, anyway?"

The most important thing is to get very, very clear in your own mind that you have no obligation to eat anything you do not want to eat. You are not being rude, the person pushing and nagging is being rude. Unspeakably rude, actually. If you had a deadly allergy, one that would cause you to go into anaphylaxis at a single bite, would you feel like you were being rude to say "No, thank you" to a serving of that food? Well, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and other carb-intolerance illnesses kill more people than anything else. Just takes a little longer, that's all.

So speak up for yourself. Be calm, but be firm.

And next year, have Thanksgiving with people who aren't such boneheads, 'kay?