What Did I Serve For My Birthday Party?

Hey, I turned fifty last weekend! Conveniently, my birthday fell on a Saturday; a party was mandatory. So what did I serve at my birthday party?

* Ham. I had a ham in the garage fridge; I'd bought it on sale and stashed it against some future mob-feeding occasion. So I hauled it out and roasted it. I even glazed it, even though that added a few carbs to the outside -- I simmered some Sucanat with apple cider and cloves, and added a good whack of mustard.

* Roasted Salmon. I also had stashed a couple of whole salmon bought on sale in the deep freeze. I thawed one, salted and peppered it, slashed it to the bone every two inches or so on both sides to let the heat in. Then I stuffed it with thin-sliced fennel, oranges, and scallions. Piled the leftover fennel and orange slices around it in the roasting pan, squeezed another orange over it, decorated it with orange slices, and roasted it -- probably a half-hour, forty minutes at 350, but I really just went by how it looked. This was a huge hit.

* Apple slices with peanut butter caramel dip. I sliced Granny Smiths and arranged them prettily on my chip-and-dip. Then I put a block of cream cheese through the food processor with some peanut butter and a good big shot of DaVinci's sugar-free caramel syrup. Not a single slice nor smear of dip was left.

* Popcorn. Hey, it's easy, it's cheap, and everybody likes it.

* Coleslaw. Ditto.

* A cauli-rice salad which also had some cooked wild rice, some thawed frozen peas, and sliced scallions. Added olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, and salt and pepper. Again, every crumb disappeared.

* Evil seven-layer cookie bars. I did not eat these, because they are, I repeat, evil. But I had the stuff to make them in the house, leftover from a meet-the-candidate event I'd done over the summer, so what the heck.

* Mulligatawny. Curried chicken soup with coconut milk and diced apples. There were leftovers, which was fine, 'cause we love the stuff.

* Vegetarian black beans. For the vegetarians, of course! Black beans cooked with diced onion and celery, grated carrots, lots of garlic, some vegetable broth, cumin, coriander, and the juice and grated rind of a couple of oranges. These were wonderful, though of course I didn't eat much of them, 'cause they're carby. We had leftovers, which I have frozen for the next time I entertain vegetarians.

* Crudite and dip. You know, the usual baby carrots, grape tomatoes, pepper strips, cauliflowerets, etc. For the dip I combined equal parts of plain yogurt and light mayo ('cause we had calorie-counters at the party, too) and seasoned it with curry powder, salt, pepper, hot sauce, garlic, and just a tiny pinch of Splenda. Not a smear was left.

* Cheese and crackers.

* Smokin' Chili Peanuts, out of 200 Low-Carb Slow Cooker Recipes. These are salted, roasted peanuts re-roasted with butter, smoke flavoring, and chili powder. Mmmm.

* Hot Spiced Cider. I just dumped a gallon of generic apple juice in a slow cooker and added a half-a-dozen cinnamon sticks, a handful of whole cloves, and a handful of whole allspice berries. Then I let it heat on high for a good four or five hours before the guests came. Set out a bottle of cinnamon schnapps for those who wanted to spike their cider. This was very popular, though I didn't have any, because apple juice is high in sugar. Natural sugar, but sugar nonetheless.

* Birthday cake. Cakes, actually. My darling friend Tonya and her daughter-in-law made these, and I understand they were wonderful. They certainly were pretty!

* Beer, wine, sparkling water, iced tea. I think I went through a twelve-pack of La Croix sparkling water my very own self; I was dancing all night, which works up a heck of a thirst.

It was a great party!