The Breathing Exercises

I mentioned my breathing exercises in the "How Have I Been Doing" entry, and got some queries. So here's the lowdown:

Back at the end of '98, beginning of '99, while the self-published edition of How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost 40 Pounds was at the printer, I was idly flipping around the TV dial one day, when I lighted upon the Home Shopping Network. A woman who looked like a life-size Barbie Doll was talking about the video tapes she was selling. She claimed the breathing exercises they taught were the magical route to slimness and health. She explained that since fat only burns in the presence of oxygen, it is only the increased oxygen intake that matters during aerobic exercise, at least where fat burning is concerned. She claimed that if you did her exercises and increased your body's oxygen levels, you'd burn fat without cracking a sweat.

I've aced college-level Anatomy and Physiology. Heck, I've aced it twice. And I knew that it was true that fat only burns in the presence of oxygen. But I didn't have a clue about how to evaluate the rest of her claim. I thought to myself "This is either the most brilliant thing I've ever heard in my life, or the biggest pile of crap in the known Universe, and I just don't know which." One thing was sure: I wasn't about to spend $60 to find out.

But a month or two later, I ran across those very videotapes, used, for a big $8. I picked 'em up, and gave the exercises a shot.

Damned if it didn't work like a charm. When I started doing the breathing exercises, I weighed somewhere around 150, and was at the top end of a size 12/bottom end of a size 14. I'd been that size for a couple of years. A few weeks into my breathing exercise regimen, my size 12s were loose, I could see daylight between my thighs, and my stomach was the flattest it's ever been (which is still not anywhere near 6-pack territory.) I got down to 139.

Could have knocked me over with a feather.

I stayed at that happy size until my car wreck, which I talked about in the "How Have I Been Doing" post. I kept doing the breathing some, though a lot of the positions it involved were not possible. And of course the rest of my exercise fell by the wayside for a long, awful time.

Since then I have proved to myself over and over and over again that if I just take the time and trouble to do a big 15 minutes of breathing exercises before breakfast, I find it far easier to stay slim, my stomach flattens out (except for where the big, stupid fibroid is!,) lifting from the lower abs, and I can stand far taller, and naturally hold my abdomen in. If I let the breathing exercises slide for a week or two, I find my jeans getting snug. When I start doing them again, my body noticeably tightens up within a few days.

Just as important, I have learned that lung capacity is the single greatest predictor of longevity. In other words, of all the things medical science can test -- your blood pressure, pulse, cholesterol, triglycerides, C-reactive protein, blood sugar, insulin, bone density, all that stuff -- the one that most correlates with a long life is having good lung capacity, being able to breathe deeply. Correlation is not causation, but I can't help but feel that keeping my lungs working to their full capacity is a Very Good Thing.

"Enough with the chatter!" you're thinking. "What are these magical breathing exercises? Where can I get them?" I'm afraid there's a tiny glitch. The original version of the breathing exercise videos is no longer being made or distributed.

I learned the original Body Flex, and the Barbie Doll lady was Greer Childers, whom you may have seen on infomercials. She has since then put together a new version of Body Flex, which includes a "gym bar" and a diet program, and can be done sitting down. It's this last I'm not happy about. One of the things I find most valuable about the breathing the way I do it is that in the standing position I can get a very strong abdominal contraction. It's impossible to contract the abdominal muscles that tightly in a sitting position. This is a major drawback.

You can find the original Body Flex videos, in all their '80s-style hilariousness, used. Amazon has some: original Body Flex I've also seen them at the Goodwill from time to time; if you see them, grab them.

Or you could try other breathing exercises. Another system I think pretty well of is Oxycise! This uses a different basic breathing method than Body Flex; personally I find the Body Flex breathing more -- I dunno, more satisfying somehow. And I think it does more for my abs. But I think well of the Oxycise! method.

I did a head-to-head comparison of the two breathing methods years ago, for Lowcarbezine! I took my temperature, did one form of breathing method for fifteen minutes, then took my temperature again. The next day I did the same with the other form of breathing. In both cases I got a jump in body temp. I had suspected this; if I'm wearing a sweater when I start breathing I have to shuck it by halfway through, because I'm too warm. This increase in temperature tells me the breathing exercises do, indeed, increase metabolism, at least transiently. The increase in temperature was about the same for both methods, so apparently they increase metabolism by about the same amount.

In both Body Flex and Oxycise!, the breathing technique is combined with a series of stretches and isometric exercises. The idea is to activate the muscles in various regions of your body to encourage circulation of the oxygen-enriched blood to the fat tissue there.

Another option for breathing exercises is Life Lift. This employs the same breathing technique as Body Flex -- indeed, Rashelle Haines claims to have taught the breathing technique to Greer Childers. Be aware that while Body Flex and Oxycise! lead you through an actual 15-20 minute workout, the Life Lift video is intended to simply demonstrate the breathing technique, and teach you stretches and isometrics you can do along with it. There is no actual "workout." She wants you to choose which exercises you want to do with your breathing. Some will find this free-form approach appealing, others prefer more structure.

I confess my biggest problem with Life Lift is simply that I find Rashelle Haines a little too airy-fairy New-Agey sweetness-and-light for my tastes. I prefer the no-nonsense approaches of Greer Childers and Jill Johnson of Oxycise!. I'm sure, though, that some of you would find her approach nurturing and supportive.

Truth to tell, I have long since developed my own routine of stretches and isometrics, to the point that while my breathing technique is the same as that on the original Body Flex tapes, the workout looks quite different.

Here is a description of the basic breath technique:

* Lean forward slightly and rest your hands on a tabletop or the back of a chair. This position lets you tighten the abdomen far harder. The original Body Flex has you put your hands on your knees like a baseball catcher, but I find the hands-on-table position easier and more comfortable.

* Purse your lips and exhale, blowing out all your air. When you think your lungs are empty, blow a little more! The technique depends on really emptying your lungs.

* Inhale sharply through your nose. Try to take in all the air in the room in one breath!

* Fold your lips and explosively exhale, making a sound like "PAH!" Empty your lungs completely.

* With your lungs empty, close the back of your throat so no air can get in. Now use the vacuum you have created in your torso to suck your abdomen in and up as hard as you can. After you've done this every day for a week or two, you will be dazzled by just how hard you can contract your abdominal muscles! Hold this for about eight seconds -- just until the urge to breathe is hitting you. Open your throat and let the air flow in naturally.

That's one basic breath. From here, you start again with pursing your lips and blowing.

One warning: When I started doing this, using Greer's "catcher's position," I would tighten the back of my neck and look forward instead of down, since that's what Greer was doing. I found that doing the breathing with my head and neck in this position gave me a nasty headache. I quickly learned to keep my chin down, and I recommend you do, too.

Once you've got the basic breath down, you can add stretches and isometrics. These are done during the "abdominal lift" part of the breath -- be sure you get a good abdominal contraction and hold it while you do any other moves. Here is my basic workout:

* 4 basic breaths to warm up.

* 4 breaths with Lion Face. I also roll my eyes up while I make this utterly silly face.

* 6 breaths with pelvic tucks. I get up on my toes with the bottoms of my heels against each other and my knees slightly flexed. I lean forward from here to put my hands on the table or chair. When I'm in the stomach lift position, I straighten up and curl my pelvis under and back -- tucking my pelvis, then swaying my back. I do two shifts forward and back on each held breath.

* 3 breaths with opposite hand-opposite foot toe touches, aka "wind mills." I can touch each side twice during each held breath.

* 4 breaths with right side stretch -- I reach my right hand up as far as I can and lean to the left.

* 4 breaths with left side stretch.

* 3 breaths with right butt tightener. When I'm in the stomach lift, I bend my right leg at the knee and push the sole of my foot back, then out diagonally to the side, then back then to the side. That's one breath.

* 3 breaths with left butt tightener.

* 3 breaths with outer thigh isometric -- with my feet planted, I try to pull them apart, like I was trying to rip the floor between my feet.

* 3 breaths with chest/upper arm push -- I place the tips of my fingers together and push them together hard while in the lift position.

* 3 breaths with back pulls -- I hook my fingers together and pull out hard while in the lift position.

* 3 breaths with table push-ups. Since I can do the breath and the lift while doing push-ups off the side of the tables, I just do three breaths while continuously doing push ups.

* 3 breaths with inner thigh stretch. I sit on the floor with the soles of my feet together and my knees on the floor. (This took practice!) I do my breaths -- can't get much of a stomach lift in this position, but I do my best -- and lean forward, stretching my inner thighs. I also pet Nick the Pug, who has to crawl into Mommy's lap while she does this.

* 3 breaths with right outer thigh stretch. I extend my left leg and cross the right over it, knee bent, sole of foot on floor. I do my breath -- again, the lift is hard in this position -- and pull my right knee to the left, stretching the outer thigh.

* 3 breaths with left outer thigh stretch.

* 4 breaths with modified double crunches. I lie on my back, knees bent, hands behind my head. I do my breath, and when I'm in the stomach lift, I lift my head and curl my knees in. I do two crunches on each breath.

* 4 breaths with leg lifts. Still on my back, I tuck my hands under my butt, palms down, for support. I extend my legs flat. I do my breath, and while I'm in the lift, I raise and lower my legs about a foot, two or three times.

That's it. I know it looks like a lot, but no one exercise takes more than a minute. I really can zip through this in 15 minutes. The great thing about that is if I can just get myself to start, there's no excuse for not finishing.

Did 'em this morning. I'd missed a couple of days and was feeling pudgy and slouchy. No excuse for that, so I'm back on track.

I hope you'll at least try doing a couple-dozen reps of the basic breath every day for a few weeks. You will, I guarantee, feel like a big ol' dork, doing all that puffing and blowing and "PAH!"ing. Your family may well laugh at you. I hope you will persist. No other exercise I have done has been so effective for the time put in.