"Focusizer" My Butt

Have you seen the ads for Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats? They're pushing this highly processed, sugar-sweetened cereal as some near-medical marvel to improve your child's classroom performance. Talking sugar-frosted wheat biscuits insist that they're your child's "miniature focusizer," as they jump companionably into the book pack.

Now they've taken it a step further. Kellogg's ads state that "independent clinical research" shows that Frosted Mini-Wheats improve children's classroom focus by "nearly" 20%. Wow! Frosted with Ritalin, mebbe?

This claim tripped my BS Meter big-time, so I went to Kellogg's website and read what information they gave. It was very instructive.

First of all, this "independent" research studied no other breakfast, only Frosted Mini-Wheats. Are we to believe that some truly independent researcher, with no input whatsoever from Kellogg's, woke up one morning and thought, "I've got it! I'll study Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats!" The idea that Kellogg's was not behind this research doesn't pass the laugh test.

Secondly, the website states that a breakfast of Frosted Mini-Wheats improved children's "focus" (no elaboration) by "up to 18%." Ignoring entirely that 18% is not 20%, this is still a hinky sort of statistic. As an advertising man's daughter, I can tell you that "up to" is a classic weasel phrase. "Up to 18%" could mean that the kid's focus was 1% better or 5% better or 10% better -- or no better at all. It means that the kid's focus was no more than 18% better. Doesn't sound anywhere near as impressive as "nearly 20% better!," does it?

But here's the most important thing I learned from the Kellogg's website: This "independent research" compared the behavior of children who had Frosted Mini-Wheats for breakfast -- presumably with milk, which has nutritional value of its own -- to the behavior of children who had a glass of water.

Stop the presses! Kids who had a bowl of cereal for breakfast did better than kids whose stomachs were growling!

Are you thinking what I am? How does Frosted Mini-Wheats compare to other breakfasts? Yeah, I thought you were.

?In 2007 a study was published in the journal Physiology & Behavior, regarding the effect of the glycemic load of breakfast on childen’s memory, attention and frustration tolerance afterward. Glycemic load is defined as the glycemic index of a food or meal, multiplied by the actual number of grams of carbohydrate in it. The breakfasts all had similar caloric content, so the blood sugar impact was the notable variable.

The children who ate a breakfast with a low glycemic load scored better on all three measures of performance – memory, attentiveness, and frustration tolerance – than did the children who had eaten the same number of calories, but with a high glycemic load.

Frosted Mini-Wheats, which have a fairly high glycemic index, and contain 39 grams of digestible carbohydrate per serving, have a high glycemic load – not as bad as a donut and a coke, but nowhere near as good as, say, bacon and eggs, or even natural peanut butter on 100% whole grain toast. There’s little question that testing Frosted Mini Wheats against other breakfasts, with fewer carbohydrates and more protein and fat, would not have yielded results to brag about.

Give your kid protein for breakfast, will you?