Define "Real"

I wrote last weekend about going to a fundraising banquet, and the surprisingly low-carb friendly menu. That put me in mind of a conversation I had at the same annual banquet a couple of years back: I was talking to some of the folks at my table, and -- if I recall correctly -- said no, thanks, I didn't want any cake, I didn't eat sugar or flour. I got the usual "Oh, I could never give up sugar!" comments from the folks I was sharing a table with. I replied that I since I could make a great batch of cookies or a cake without sugar or flour, I didn't really have a problem with giving up the flour-and-sugar-laden kind.

This was when the predictable happened: Somebody said "Oh, I'd just rather have the real thing less often." Is it unkind of me to mention that the woman who said this was seriously overweight? And a vegetarian?

Okay, I admit that Splenda is not "real," if by "real" we mean "naturally occurring." Of course, a fair number of "natural" sweeteners don't actually occur in nature, either; the only seriously concentrated sugar I know of that occurs naturally is honey. Table sugar is, of course, a seriously refined food -- in chemistry class, my professor used sugar as an example of a highly purified compound. Sure doesn't occur that way in the "real" world. Agave nectar is no more "real" than high fructose corn syrup, being made in much the same way -- enzymes converting more complex carbs into fructose. And xylitol and erythritol are as "real" as sugar is, again for values of "real' that mean "occurring in nature."

How about the rest of the ingredients in my cookies or cakes? Butter and eggs, baking powder or soda, vanilla, chocolate, or spices, all of those are the same as in the "real" variety. The other big swap is for the flour; I usually use nut meal and vanilla whey protein powder. How are these not "real?" I would venture that almond meal is more "real" than white flour, since it's simply shelled almonds ground up into powder, and hasn't been either refined or "enriched." I don't know why vanilla whey protein wouldn't be at least as "real" as flour. And certainly both almond meal (or hazelnut meal, for that matter) and vanilla whey protein have more flavor than flour, since white flour has exactly zero flavor.

So far as I can tell, "real" is defined only as "the version I'm used to." Yet there was no doubt in my mind, from this woman's tone and her scowl, that she considered her judgment of my low carb baked goods as "not real" to be a serious criticism. I wonder how she'd feel if, facing a pot of meatless chili, a Garden Burger, or a slice of Tofurky I said "Oh, I'd rather have the real thing?"